The responsibility track
During one of the last class days within my coaching education, I was asked how would I describe the notion of responsibility and the importance of remaining within its appropriate scope in a simple yet compelling manner.
What usually helps me is to break down such complex notions into graphic representations and metaphors - with a little bit of playfulness and imagination my mind tends to be sufficiently entertained to actually retain some of what otherwise feels as rather abstract content.
The imagery that I came up with on the spot assumes that every one of us as an individual has their own unique path. We can think of this path as a train track. On that track, commutes our own very unique train of which we are the driver. Just like we are the drivers of our own train on our own train track, others around us are in charge of their train and the accompanying track.
The situation seems to be harmless when everyone keeps to their trains and tracks. No accidents, no emergencies; Just more or less complete commute harmony - everyone has the opportunity to get where they want to go at their own pace.
Problems usually occur if we assume that some of the fellow train drivers closest to us are not moving fast enough or not in the “right” direction and we decide to take action informed by these assumptions. For instance, we conclude that our closest fellow train driver may need some unsolicited help and we decide to jump over onto their wagon to help them reroute. While we are busy with anticipating and responding to what we expect someone else may need, we completely lose track of our own wagon that is now aimlessly speeding off the rails and crashing into a wall. The end result? Our fellow locomotive driver may have managed to reroute (where we thought they would need to go, mind you), but we don’t have a functional train to go back to. In fact, we need to spend time, energy, and resources on recovering our means of transportation before we can head out onto the tracks again. It is not seldom to start feeling resentful towards our fellow train driver who is on what we envision to be the “right” path heading forward, while we are picking up the pieces of our own vehicle. It is not just, however, that we are experiencing negative consequences, but that by jumping and taking over the guidance of someone else’s train, we have also robbed them from the opportunity to learn to deal with the challenges they might have been facing on the tracks at their own capacity.
My mind feels more compelled to stay within its own lane after envisioning this story. It seems like tending to my own wagon and watching the road ahead can bring plenty of challenges and opportunities. And with that I also allow others around me to face those on their own watch and at their own timing. That in turn creates the opportunity for all of us on the tracks to develop and grow and become better navigators and drivers of our own destiny.